Thursday, July 2, 2009

How to be an Overwhelming Butthead

This post is dedicated to Laurs.

There are many simple, apparently painless ways to do this to harass your co-workers. Let's list a few.

1. Identify something your co-worker doesn't do very well. Point it out every time they do it wrong. Repetition is key.
2. Think of something bad that's happened to them recently, talk about it often.
3. Think of/Make up ways that they handled the aforementioned event poorly. Comment often.
4. Find out one of their goals, something that they've been working on for a while and are proud of, like a competition. Then, have someone else do it for you and take the award to work. Double points if this person comes to work and presents it to you in your co-worker's presence. Yay for gloating!
5. If your co-worker struggles with an assignment, instead of providing constructive criticism, just criticize.
6. Think up menial tasks you don't want to do yourself. Impose them upon your co-worker.
7. Make slights on the type of art and or/music your co-worker enjoys.
8. If something nice does happen to your co-worker, be sure to belittle it.
9. If your co-worker is sick (and male), spray their workstation down with a feminine hygiene product to "disinfect" it. Extra points if you can manage a spray onto the phone between calls.

Last but most importantly:

10. Giggle incessantly when you do any of the above things. The more girlier, the better.


Aubrey said...

I thought "Laurs" must be our mutual friend Lauren, but now I'm sure it's not ;)

Also, sorry again for tricking you to put on that sparkly lotion after the glue be gone incident of '08.

coolmom said...

What happened to #2? Oops! Does that make me a BH?

CoolBoy said...

Aubrey - No, you've never met this person that I'm talking about here. Nor would you want to, she can be very nasty.

Mom - You know, after you said something about it, I asked myself the same questions. Mom, of course you aren't a BH.

Jenny said...

I'm glad you didn't write 'call me stinky uncle coolboy'