Thursday, July 9, 2009

Year One

But not the movie. As of today I've officially been back from my mission to the Dominican Republic for one full year. I am neither engaged nor married, which I'm a bit proud of (but I will admit I'm tired of living with a bunch of dudes).

Let's take a look of how far I've got in the past year:

Dependence of Parents
Days spent living with my parents: 21
Money regularly accepted from parents: I think only when I get sick...
Times gotten sick: like 5

Jobs: 3
Current wage: Less than I made when I was 16
Monthly bills to pay: 4 (soon to be 3, faster internet isn't worth it)
Student loans: None. Thanks Dad, you're The Man
Cars in my name: 1

Professional life/Fame
Paying photography gigs: 3, soon to be 4
Copyright offices I work in: 1
Irony that I work in a copyright office: Great
Copyright Infringement investigations preformed: 1
Irony that I have conducted an infringement investigation: Endless
Times been a voiceover: 1
Times mentioned in Wikipedia: 1
Times I've wished I could be on Fresh Air and meet Teri Gross: Many

Culinary Achievement
Chocolate Icing recipes perfected: 1
Times I've cooked for my roommates: 10ish
Times I've gotten Brett to say "Mmm!": 1
Times made chocolate covered pretzels: 2
Times I made chocolate Andes cookies for the people I home teach only to find that one of my roommates took big bites out of them, causing me to completely lose my temper: 1
How funny that was for lookers-on: 9 out of 10

Degree Programs accepted into: None - curse you, mono
GPA: Like 3.5 - again, mono is the devil
Years of college remaining: At least 3

Living situation
Roommates married off: 1 - and thank goodness, he was kinda weird
Black Sleep-talking roommates: 1
White wiggles-feet-while-sleeping roommates: 1
White only-sleeps-when-the-sun-is-up roommates: 1
Arguments about the A/C daily: at least one
How much this bothers me: None
Washers, Dryers, and Dishwashers in my apt: None
How much this bothers me: A bit
Foosball tables in apartment:1
How much this bothers me: A lot
Whispered, whimpering, conversations Brett has had on the phone with his girlfriend while I'm trying to sleep this week alone: 2
How much this bothers me: Less than the Foosball table, but it's still pretty odd.

Political Involvement:
Presidential Elections survived: 1
Times wished Sarah Palin would just go home and do her job again: Any time I hear her name
Worth of BYU student elections: -$Whatever the budget is

Literary Accomplishment
Fiction Books read: 6.5 (sorry Golden Compass...I got bored)
# of those about Zombies: 1
# of books I've read due to obligation of honor and conscience and not being a dirty liar-pants: 3
Nonfiction books read: 6
Papers written for class: 3
Blog posts written: 21
Blog posts written while at work: 21
Books checked out from library without reading them: 5 (I promise I'll read The 13th Tale one of these days...)

Dates been on: several, but not as many as I'd like
Girls never called back: 2...oops
Women with hurt feelings: 1 (totally not my fault)
# dates with blondes ever: 0, I'm really not sure why this is
Relationships been in: 2
# of those that were totally weird and probably shouldn't have happened in the first place: 1
# of those girls that are now on missions: 1
# of those girls that is in my ward and everyone still thinks we're going out anyway (yet she gets asked out and hit on by guys in the ward...backstabbers): 1
# of times that girl stepped on a cupcake and made me laugh so hard I almost peed my pants while laying on the sidewalk:1

Ethan & Savannah
Times I've babysat los sobrinos: a lot, in fact, I might be sitting on them tonight...I don't remember....
Times I've kissed their butts like their aunts do: None
Times I've wiped their butts: Too many
Times been made a total sucker by sobrinos: Too many to count
Times punched Savvy in the mouth on accident: 1
Planned dates with Savvy once I can drive my car: 1

Concerts attended out of state: 1
Times almost bought ticket to China: 1
Times almost bought ticket to Hawaii: 1
Times almost bought ticket to Alaska: 1
Times almost drove to Texas: 1

Missionary Work
Times I've called/written old investigators: 0
Times volunteered at the MTC: 0
Times meant to volunteer at the MTC: at least 200, I even get the emails every week and it's like a free guilt fest every time
Times reviewed a few mission letters: 2
Days thought about mission at least once in past year: 365
Mission friends married: Kind of a lot, like 15+, several of which got home after I did
Mission friends that I see regularly: 0, but I have had lunch with Wilkins a couple times

Extremely sexy bicycles owned: 1
Accidents on said bike: 1
Drugs done: 3 - Prednisone (A+), Lortab (B- takes forever to kick in), Percocet (D-)
Pron looked at in the shadows while no one was around: None
Times missed church:1
Times wanted to leave during Priesthood because it's so boring: probably around 25
Shows that I've become addicted to and spent hours watching: 4 - House M.D., The Office, Lost, Arrested Development
Hours spent playing video games instead of reading or exercising or cooking or going on a date: None of your business
Completely random and inconsistent chastity talks received from sisters: 1

How much I enjoyed it: Immensely
Number of time I'd be willing to repeat it: None


Nemesis said...

It's not called butt-kissing, friend. It's just called BEING AWESOME.

coolmom said...

Should I be concerned about the video game comment???