But not the movie. As of today I've officially been back from my mission to the Dominican Republic for one full year. I am neither engaged nor married, which I'm a bit proud of (but I will admit I'm tired of living with a bunch of dudes).
Let's take a look of how far I've got in the past year:
Dependence of Parents Days spent living with my parents: 21 Money regularly accepted from parents: I think only when I get sick... Times gotten sick: like 5
Finances Jobs: 3 Current wage: Less than I made when I was 16 Monthly bills to pay: 4 (soon to be 3, faster internet isn't worth it) Student loans: None. Thanks Dad, you're The Man Cars in my name: 1
Professional life/Fame Paying photography gigs: 3, soon to be 4 Copyright offices I work in: 1 Irony that I work in a copyright office: Great Copyright Infringement investigations preformed: 1 Irony that I have conducted an infringement investigation: Endless Times been a voiceover: 1 Times mentioned in Wikipedia: 1 Times I've wished I could be on Fresh Air and meet Teri Gross: Many
Culinary Achievement Chocolate Icing recipes perfected: 1 Times I've cooked for my roommates: 10ish Times I've gotten Brett to say "Mmm!": 1 Times made chocolate covered pretzels: 2 Times I made chocolate Andes cookies for the people I home teach only to find that one of my roommates took big bites out of them, causing me to completely lose my temper: 1 How funny that was for lookers-on: 9 out of 10
Education Degree Programs accepted into: None - curse you, mono GPA: Like 3.5 - again, mono is the devil Years of college remaining: At least 3
Living situation Roommates married off: 1 - and thank goodness, he was kinda weird Black Sleep-talking roommates: 1 White wiggles-feet-while-sleeping roommates: 1 White only-sleeps-when-the-sun-is-up roommates: 1 Arguments about the A/C daily: at least one How much this bothers me: None Washers, Dryers, and Dishwashers in my apt: None How much this bothers me: A bit Foosball tables in apartment:1 How much this bothers me: A lot Whispered, whimpering, conversations Brett has had on the phone with his girlfriend while I'm trying to sleep this week alone: 2 How much this bothers me: Less than the Foosball table, but it's still pretty odd.
Political Involvement: Presidential Elections survived: 1 Times wished Sarah Palin would just go home and do her job again: Any time I hear her name Worth of BYU student elections: -$Whatever the budget is
Literary Accomplishment Fiction Books read: 6.5 (sorry Golden Compass...I got bored) # of those about Zombies: 1 # of books I've read due to obligation of honor and conscience and not being a dirty liar-pants: 3 Nonfiction books read: 6 Papers written for class: 3 Blog posts written: 21 Blog posts written while at work: 21 Books checked out from library without reading them: 5 (I promise I'll read The 13th Tale one of these days...)
Relationships Dates been on: several, but not as many as I'd like Girls never called back: 2...oops Women with hurt feelings: 1 (totally not my fault) # dates with blondes ever: 0, I'm really not sure why this is Relationships been in: 2 # of those that were totally weird and probably shouldn't have happened in the first place: 1 # of those girls that are now on missions: 1 # of those girls that is in my ward and everyone still thinks we're going out anyway (yet she gets asked out and hit on by guys in the ward...backstabbers): 1 # of times that girl stepped on a cupcake and made me laugh so hard I almost peed my pants while laying on the sidewalk:1
Ethan & Savannah Times I've babysat los sobrinos: a lot, in fact, I might be sitting on them tonight...I don't remember.... Times I've kissed their butts like their aunts do: None Times I've wiped their butts: Too many Times been made a total sucker by sobrinos: Too many to count Times punched Savvy in the mouth on accident: 1 Planned dates with Savvy once I can drive my car: 1
Travel: Concerts attended out of state: 1 Times almost bought ticket to China: 1 Times almost bought ticket to Hawaii: 1 Times almost bought ticket to Alaska: 1 Times almost drove to Texas: 1
Missionary Work Times I've called/written old investigators: 0 Times volunteered at the MTC: 0 Times meant to volunteer at the MTC: at least 200, I even get the emails every week and it's like a free guilt fest every time Times reviewed a few mission letters: 2 Days thought about mission at least once in past year: 365 Mission friends married: Kind of a lot, like 15+, several of which got home after I did Mission friends that I see regularly: 0, but I have had lunch with Wilkins a couple times
Random Extremely sexy bicycles owned: 1 Accidents on said bike: 1 Drugs done: 3 - Prednisone (A+), Lortab (B- takes forever to kick in), Percocet (D-) Pron looked at in the shadows while no one was around: None Times missed church:1 Times wanted to leave during Priesthood because it's so boring: probably around 25 Shows that I've become addicted to and spent hours watching: 4 - House M.D., The Office, Lost, Arrested Development Hours spent playing video games instead of reading or exercising or cooking or going on a date: None of your business Completely random and inconsistent chastity talks received from sisters: 1
How much I enjoyed it: Immensely Number of time I'd be willing to repeat it: None