24 0213

Ok, so I cut ahead a little bit. Writing was just bogging me down. But we'll have an update here.

First, the biggest surprise.

Bridezilla: WOW. I didn't see that coming at all. It's one of the two things I didn't. but dang, I never took her for that crazy. The following is a transcript of my IM conversation with Aubrey as I watched (we were talking about a 24/Twilight Mashup, since Bella's parents in the movie are both in 24.

4:46 PM Aubrey: yeah! he's not a vampire! but, if he was, I bet he'd just smash the vultori and be done with it.

me: Holy crap

It would have all been over in 1 book

4:47 PM Especially if the only person getting in his way was Bella's lame sauce dad

Dead vampires everywhere

4:48 PM Aubrey: snap. take that meyer. we could make an awesome youtube video for that if we were that type of people.

me: That's true

4:49 PM 24's over now too. We could probably get little Kiefer himself

Aubrey: oh really? what makes you say that?

4:50 PM me: Well, depending on what he thinks about Twilight, he might be down.

4:51 PM Aubrey: that's true. of course, he might be a big fan.

me: Well, if he's got a sense of humor...

4:52 PM Aubrey: hahaha. true. heck, if stephanie meyers is a fan of 24...

we could get her too!

OR she'll write another book where he becomes a vampire.

me: maybzWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAHH!H!!!!!!

4:53 PM PLOT TWIST!!!

I didn't see it coming either

Aubrey: Wow. I guess not: All caps, elongated vowels, and multiple punctuation marks: you are impressed!

4:54 PM me: dang i love this show

It got me good just there

Aaaaaaaah. I do indeed love it. Except for Kim.

Jin, aka Agent Baker: Haha! More LOST! That was the one other thing.

Sherry: She's a giant B. Didn't need creepy sound effects to see that coming a mile away.

Palmer: Authorizing torture. Didn't see that coming. But I guess that's the beefing-up that Roger wanted.

Roger: Called it.

Kim: I still hate her. I hope Crazy Mountain Man just kills her instead of trying to repopulate LA. That would do us both a huge favor. Bet you wish you wore a bra now, don't you? (Dumb ho.)

The leader guy at the Mosque who did some PR for Islam: Props to you!

Kate: Way to step up.

Rogue Commando with the Nuke: I called you too. But I thought it would be at the end of episode 12, rather than 13, so you got me there!

Jack: Keep screamin'. Keep shootin'. I love ya bro.

24 0205

I'm still kind of undecided on the format here, but I think I'll just write in my running commentary. Times are run time, not "24" time. That'd be way too complicated.

00:23 Eric. That's Jerkface's name.

00:45 If the beard isn't good enough for you, just think about how he kinda looks like Christian Shepard. He wasn't all that great either (The smoke monster version, anyway).

01:14 That doctor lady is full of crap. Am I grossly misinformed, or is it common for new nannies who bring the child to the hospital to be the source of prolonged abuse? It will take the police all of about 15 seconds to "sort that out." Kim doesn't need to worry.

01:19 Jack Freaking Bauer happened, that's what!

02:27 Oop! Just saw "as Nina Meyers" in the credits. I was right!

03:00 Yeah, send Tony. That Groom's no good.

03:50 I don't remember who Chappel is.

05:00 Lynn. That's Red Hair Lady. Wasn't that Samwise's name too?

5:40 Yeah, because running away looks good. Also, that guy's a weirdo.

7:18 Bull crap. I'm calling it.

930: so wait, Nina's been in jail? When was it she ordered the bombing? I don't get it.

1010: and yeah, Jack's totally going to kill her. Wait, he does that in a different season. He does it somewhere.

1110: She's only getting like part of it. Then people are going to freaking out. You'll see.

1224: Dang, they got me. Now she's gonna die though, right?

1300: There we go.

1400: That beard is awful. What else is this guy in? Holy Crap! It IS Christian Shepard from LOST. HE'S BAD! He's totally going to be bad! Just look those eyes and tell me he's good.

1430: Yay Tony!

1500: Yeah, and you picked this day just so you would have an excuse to fly in more terrorists. That's awesome!

1620: Yeah, that's the look of "Oh crap! They're already on to me! Good thing I've already got a story that's going to check out perfectly but someone's going to have a hunch and figure me out eventually!"

1750 Are they ever going to tell us which "Their Country" is? I'm guessing not.

1850: Yeah, don't give it to them. They'll only give you the crappy files or something

2020 And given your camera angles, we have no reason to trust you either, bub (Roger).

2120 Kim, just freaking do what you're told. Please. Once?

2245 Ha. Jack's funny.

2300: Yeah, give Nina a helmet. Jack's gonna thump her widdle head. It's only a matter of time.

2335. I was hoping for a smile out of her. That would make her awesomely bad.

2430: I didn't see the split screen there at first. I thought they were just waaaaay too close for a second there.

2456: The terms are: I'm going to write my name on the walls with your blood once my daughter and her vampire friends get here.

2510 Or she just wants immunity. Whatever.

2627 Hey hey hey! Just like David Wallace! Except Wallace is a patriot.

2710 "It in was a chain email. We must know some of the same people."

2810 "I've got a bomb to blow up in 6 hours. You'll notice that corresponds perfect with the 12-hour mark in the season when crisis #1 always ends and crisis #2 has to start. You'll see!"

2820 Have we figured out what Lynn's job title is yet?

2850 And now Jack's going to find a way to get to Nina. Don't talk to him Michelle. You'll just catch The Crazy along with him.

3140 This is Palmer we're talking about here, Jack. He's doing the right thing.
Wait, Palmer, you just said "eventually we'll make it right." That's like a death sentence in Kiefer's mind. You'll have to clean that one up eventually. See? Look at that snarl!

3200 who the crap is that guy? Oh geez, a Kim boyfriend. That can't been a good sign. What kind of name is McGill? Are you kidding me?

3320 It's official: I kind of love Mason. Too bad he's gonna die and stuff.

3410 Yeah Michelle...don't trust Keifer's purrrrrrrr. He's just gonna kill people in the end.

3520 Bridezilla isn't being nearly as bridezilla-y as she could be. But I do really hate her shirt. Why tie it up like that? That's not classy. It's pretty gross.

3645 "Don't mind my other family in Australia." Claire doesn't count.

3700 Oh, there's the Bridezilla. You'll notice Christian didn't bother to tell her that he did a background check too. Sissy.

3830 Yeah, there you go Kim. Screwing things up. Nice job.

4000: Couch buddies!

4135 It would be Fox News. Being that this show is on Fox.

4310 HA! Camera glare. She's practicing her feral stare for when Bella turns her too.

Watching Old TV

Thanks to Netflix streaming and not a lot going on at work, I've found myself starting up Season 2 of 24. I've also started watching Veronica Mars with Aubrey, and I think we're going to do LOST (I've seen all of it, she only saw season 1 back in high school) at some point too. Sidenote to Netflix: Hurry up on that iPhone app, and it better be free, I'm not going to pay you twice (and don't worry, I definitely won't get Hulu Plus, I won't pay for commercials).

So I figure while I'm watching all this old TV, I ought to be keeping a record somehow.

Anyway, here begins 24: Day 2 (2002).

Some background:
Four years ago I saw season 1, half of 3 (I think), half of 4, and all of 5. Then last year I followed the first half of 7. I'm far from a 24 noob, but there's just a lot I haven't seen and even more that I probably don't remember. But If I actually keep this up, I probably won't watch season 6 anyhow because Wayne is the president. Wayne is stupid. Also stupid: When they killed off Edgar. WTH?

So far I've seen the first 4 episodes, which started at a blessed 8 AM instead of Midnight like the 1st season. That just makes more sense. Here's a plot update and some character forecasts:

Plot: Thanks to torturing some Korean guys torturing another Korean guy, and then forwarding the only words excluded from subtitles to some white guys in another room, who then made a phone call to another guy who was on the boat with The Man in Oregon, we know that LA is going to be nuked "today" by a middle eastern terrorist group. Finding a resolution to a crisis that only lasts one day is obviously the work of one Jack Bauer, so they starting trying to get a hold of him.

Jack, meanwhile, is still on hard times emotionally from his wife dieing in the last season. We know this because he's scraggly and because when he give a gun a meaningful look we get a "wooosh" sound effect. He gets on board eventually and starts killing people almost immediately. He goes undercover with a rather lame anarchist group (featuring both Squareface from The Rock and the nappy bad cop from Date Night) and helps them blow up CTU. (The daughter from Rosanne almost dies in the explosion. That's weird.) He tried to tell The Man ahead of time to worn them but he only gets to talk to Red Hairy Lady and Jerkface stops her from telling The Man in time. At the end of the 4th episode, we find out that the planner of the CTU bombing was given the order, date, and info by some lady that we're supposed to recognize (We can tell that before we even see the photos). I think it's Nina from the first season. I'm kinda rusty.

Character profiles:

The Presidency

• Pres. Palmer: The Man. The solution to every problem ever. The epitome of what Obama wishes he could be. He's just got that voice. And those good hands.
  
• Lady with the red hair: The President's....secretary? I'm not sure what her job is, but whenever Jack tries to call Palmer, he has to talk to her instead. Very lame. I've got the feeling she's bad.
• Jerkface with the annoying, constantly purposeful tone: Also in the Pres's staff. Keeps trying to undermine the Pres and was just "removed" from his job. Don't worry, he'll be back.
• I'd also like to take this opportunity to money down now that Palmer's crazy freaking wife will show up to cause trouble too. She's like that.
  

CTU people

• The office decor: Better than Season 1's but way uglier than Season 4 and on. Good thing they blew it up.
  
• George Mason: Seems nice enough. He's gonna die "Perhaps within a day" so I guess we can count on him in case we need any Butch Cassidies or Sundance Kids. (Speaking of which, remember the time Samwise Gamgee did one of those? That was crazy.)
• Tony before he died twice and shaved his head: Seems fine. Needs a haircut.
• That Michelle lady before Tony marries her: Not really a big deal yet.
• Daughter from Rosanne: Just hurry up and kill her off so we can get Chloe instead.
• Jack: Jack can do two things. He can yell at people and he can kill people, but not usually in that order.
  

Hitherto irrelevant Wedding people

• Bride to be: Annoying.
• The sister: Also annoying.
• The Groom (and cousin just flown in): Totally a terrorist.
• The Dad: Terrorist. Ge with me on this one, good guys don't have bears like that. (Or he's an old Gordon Freeman, which is ridiculous.)
  

Oh, and Kim Bauer's here too and nannies for some weirdo abusive family. Not sure how that ties in yet. I'd be ok if they just cut her out altogether. And the Dakota Fanning knock off, cut her out too.

So that's what we have leading up to episode 5 (Noon to 1PM)

Almost-Broken Promise

Firstly,
Happy Birthday Aubrey! I love you!

Secondly,
I once made a promise that I wouldn't get a Blu ray player until Space Jam comes out on BR because that movie's awesome. I've kept that up so far, But something happened. The completely awesome Fantastic Mr. Fox happened.


Aubrey and I decided that we definitely wanted to buy work of genius. I figured the DVD would be like $16. That's how much new DVD's are on the release day, right? Wrong, they wanted $18 for this one. But I spied that the Blu Ray was $25! I thought those things were like $40. They certainly used to be...you know....a year and a half ago. I guess things change. But back to the point, the BR includes not JUST the BR, but also the DVD, and 3rd disc so you can make copies on your PC and iPod. Cuss Yeah!! So after we went and got tasty Thai food last night after school (thanks, Mom!) we went and picked it up. It's even better when you watch it at home because you can talk about the cool stuff (and, you know, pause it when you need to). Also, I never realized Dumbledore was the voice of Bean. That's freaky.




























Also, Nemesis, you're the only person I know with a BR player, so if you wanted to borrow that disc, you totally can.

P.S.* Just as a note: No, we didn't buy a BR player. We just bought the disc.

Something Bad Happened...

...and I'm still not over it.

I love this guy:

Problem though, is that he's also Dr. Cockroach PhD

Jasper on 101 Dalmatians
Whiney Mr. Palmer
And whoever the crap this guy is supposed to be

You might ask, "So wait, an actor has played more than one character? And you're complaining?". Yes, yes I am. Because whenever I see my boy House in any other role, I get really confused. And that right there is my problem in the first place. He isn't Hugh Laurie, he's Gregory House, so any time I see him with his normal accent or in another role I think "Woah woah wait, who the heck is that guy?" But nothing could have ever prepared me for what I saw this weekend:

And then I suffered a case of sudden-onset epilepsy and slithered off my couch in tremors.

A comb over. No, not that. Anything but that! Fine! Put him in a family movie. Make him all cheery and helpful and fatherly. Heck, you can even put Geena Davis in there too if you like. But then you go and make him all smiley and sweater vesty and give him a comb over. Do you hate me tv? Do you? Seems like it (But I must add, Geena Davis' red hair is pretty hot). How am I supposed to enjoy one of my favorite shows if every time I watch it I think about Mr. Fredrick Little? It just isn't fair. Fox really should get some kind of insurance against this kind of thing. Maybe some more marketing to help me forget about it. But, the damage is done. Does anyone have the number of a good therapist?



P.S. After two weeks I was finally able to make a fist with my right hand again, which was celebrated with a 13-mile bike ride. No one even got hurt.